15 December 2006

Free "fucking" Fall!

When your mind is fucked up by the thought of her, wondering how it was nothing but fuck and slowly, over time, it became more than fuck and at the same time, fucking became making love and the journey within the making love included fucking, going back and forth, losing breaths, missing heartbeats, lost in sensory perceptions, heaving together, sighing together until you are so fucked, you don’t exist and she doesn’t exist, both bodies hanging and floating in mid air, and as you stare into her closed eyes, in that moment, it suddenly dawns on you, she has fucked your heart like no one has, ever, and a deep immersing wave showers you with the realization that in this crazy game, you both have fucked each other to such an extent that the rest of non-fucking moments is going to be so-fucking horrible reminding you of this fucking moment that has made you experience ecstasy, feel the soul, stretch your bodies to its limit yet feel full in every way, a wave that finally eclipses all kinds of needs buried before only to sow an even greater undeniable need, that of her, for the rest of your fucking life that you might have to spend without fucking her, making you realize how fucked up your life is and how many other lives you are fucking along with hers, unintentionally in the first fuck and intentionally in every subsequent fuck, losing yourself more, needing her fuck in every nerve, pretending to be a fucking good guy until you are sucked back into the fucking game with her, indulging with more vigor, not knowing what the fucking point is, yet knowing it makes all the other fucking shit going in your life bearable, not giving a fuck about society, family, and all the fucking bastards who offered advise without having a fucking clue, “fuck them”, “Fuck her”, this time with anger for making you a fucking dependable animal on her, for making you feel the loss of her engulfing smell while she is wrapped around you, for making you feel like, you are all the fuck that matters to her, for meaning her words in every thrust and for proving her heart by making each fuck unbelievable , never saying no and always feeling more than you can ever handle, more than you ever wanted to handle until you sink deep down in your self only to scream aloud but stifled inside your throat like a fucked up moron whose heart is split, silencing all the fucking desires, trying to forget all the fucking memories , suddenly not knowing what was your old fucking self before her and the pain of ripped heart splintering through you, swarming you with an ache, sinking you in an abyss, plunging you in moral quandary, not wanting you to raise the question of how can this be wrong when it feels so right, evaluate what should be done, what can be done, not having the courage to bury the old, accept the new, not sure if you would want that old when this new turns old, but knowing she has fucked you up totally and trying to make sense of all this fucked up emotions which was never there before, never experienced before that even after months of trying to be fuck-sober , she rises in your heart in un-fucking moments giving you a panic attack, making you unstable, bleeding for those fucking-times of smiling together, holding together, aching together ending in blissful-complete-moments, making you cry for that one thing she gave you more than all the fucks put together!

She LOVED you for who you are, as you are and now you know, so do you!

She finally gave the ROYAL FUCK of it all, without fucking, when she left you!

11 December 2006

Art, not for the sake of Artiste?

From Michael Jackson to Mel Gibson, Borat to Michael Richards, should you judge their creations because of the shortcomings in them?

Do you stop buying MJ’s CD’s because you believe he could be a child molester?

Do you stop watching Mel Gibson’s movies because he is anti-Semitic?

Do you stop laughing at Michael Richards jokes in Seinfeld because he thinks less of African-Americans?

Where does one draw the line? The immediate reaction is of NO. I love “Beat it”. Why would I not listen to it? Brave heart is one of my favourite movies. Why can’t I enjoy a creation of art for the sake of Art? Who am I to judge someone else? But the moment you think you are enabling someone by paying for their skill, who, then uses that money to do horrible things, where do you stand morally, ethically as a human being?

If Nike makes soccer balls employing kids in Pakistan, do you PAY for that merchandise? If a diamond has been bought in a conflict zone which has the blood of poor miners, do you not care and pay thousands for them? You cannot stop the whole world but you can always say NO from your end, within your circle of influence. Granted you may not know all the hands an item has exchanged before buying it, but once you know, it matters what you do with that information. There was an “extrapolated” ad a few years ago to tell us, if you buy gas, you are enabling the Sheiks, who enable the terrorists, so stop filling gas. NOW, that is extreme activism. I wouldn’t go to that extent. But you do have a choice.

Perhaps the bigger question is “Why relate related-things in unrelated activities?” Say, Sports and Politics. Should we allow India and Pakistan to play Cricket when our soldiers are fighting the very country in the border? It may not matter so much to me but if I had my brother in Army fighting in Kashmir, putting his life on the line for the country, while a bunch of civilians want to enjoy Sachin hitting Shoaib Akhtar for a six, it belittles and makes his sacrifice and the sacrifice of thousands of lives less meaningful.

Like everything else, if the insult is directed at me/my country, then you decide to take some action. If Mel Gibson had said, “Stupid...f***king Indians!”, I wouldn’t be caring to question whether I should be watching his movies or not. But when it he curses about some other race, if you don’t join them in their protest, how long would it take for him to move to the next? If you don’t punish the artiste by ignoring his art, especially artistes with influence, you could be next on their list!

Maybe it’s time to sacrifice our few moments of pleasure in arts for the greater good of generations to come!