04 September 2006

ET to ER!


You never know when it hits you. A whiff of earthy sand? Gentle caress of frail cold breeze? Silent pause in your favourite movie as two lips melts in each other? Or the extended humming in the interlude of a haunting melody?

There are all kinds of Emotional Triggers(ET) that swarm you into Emotional Restlessness(ER)!

When the trigger is pulled, it’s like the sudden spilling of open paint boxes on your psyche. The rope called sanity that you were holding until then slips through your fingers. The heart gets congested with flooding memories that you thought you had escaped from. Breaths begin to fall stumbling one after another, irregularly, as your mind gets gripped by an unknown ache that you know so well. You can see yourself falling from the skyscraper in slow motion with only one way to go…DOWN!

Maybe they are emotional black holes that lurks deep inside us moving from one ventricle to another, until the emotional trigger shoots them, causing our heart to shrink sucking our feelings of happiness in an instant. You feel the internal heaviness as you become restless and replay old memories, lost opportunities and hopelessness as a unique cocktail of all of these emotions in different proportions are served, each time. You begin to dodge these landmines and tread carefully in each of your activity for the next few days. You stop listening to music. You stop going to that particular place. You avoid talking to certain people. You shut your self until you feel normal again.

If Life is made of moments, then each moving experience, plants a trigger in us. A ticking time bomb. You never know, when, one of them will blow up and make you restless. While some of them last only a few minutes, there are this special feeder bombs that take hostage of your entire day or even weeks by feeding on our weaknesses, desires, dreams and our uncanny ability to imagine idyllic possibilities. It’s a hook, line and sinker with no control!

The wiser ones say time heals. You certainly hope time gives us acceptance, if not, clarity. Maybe the culprit is choices or the lack of courage to exercise any of them. Either way, you just hope this process of cleansing in painful overwhelming of ER eliminates the power of feeder bombs and leads us to a place where you are less immune to ET.

Peace in the knowledge of self! Peace in our actions! Realizing that, it is futile to succumb in emotional quagmire by making someone a priority when you are just an option for them! Realizing that it is futile to regret, when we can choose to move on and be happy! When you have hit the bottom, there is only one way to go. UP!

23 comments:

Atrakasya said...

Of course, triggers can also release positive states of mind in oneself.

If you understand how triggers evoke negativity, then you can use the similar mechanisms for evoking positivity and happy states of being.
Isn't that the exact use of self-knowledge - to free oneself from negativity?

Priyamvada_K said...

"it is futile to succumb in emotional quagmire by making someone a priority when you are just an option for them!"

I loved that statement. Words to remember and live by!

Priya.

Parvati said...

I too was simply struck by this sentence, Ram - "it is futile to succumb in emotional quagmire by making someone a priority when you are just an option for them!"
A beautiful and wise statement.
And...an exquisite post.

MotoRama said...

Hmm...easier said than done..but you are right!If you are sure of yourself and understand your needs which starts by resolving the triggers!Thanks Atrakasya(i love saying that name every time)!

Hey Priya,
Yes.It is a powerful mantra that infuses self-respect!But then, we do fall into that trap voluntarily for some reason,sometimes with some people!

I am glad you could relate to it,Parvati! Lemme go and see whats new on your aisle!

Loveena said...

Hi, I came here via Parvati's blog. Good I stopped by! That was precise and well said - esp the last para.

Peace in the knowledge of self! Peace in our actions! Realizing that, it is futile to succumb in emotional quagmire by making someone a priority when you are just an option for them! Realizing that it is futile to regret, when we can choose to move on and be happy! When you have hit the bottom, there is only one way to go. UP!

The entire paragraph is both inspiring and thought provoking. The key word there being - CHOICE! And as yo urightly pointed out in your comment - some of us voluntarily choose to remain in that quagmire. Maybe for that some its simply the HOPE and the ability to get through the quagmire that sees them through it. Honestly, if one does not go through it one cannot comment on it and one who has been through it or is in it knows that its each to oneself there ...

*confused?* *Wicked grin* - I love to do that !!! But if you read it again - you will get it :-) Okay, now stop by my page and answer my questions - annonymously.

I'll check the rest of your blog later - got to do some more writing now :-) Nice meeting you, Ram

Anamika said...

"When you have hit the bottom, there is only one way to go. UP!"
This concluding line ... feels like floating on a tender morning...what with a stiff thorn in yout throat.
What a profound treatment of emotions neatly put down in words!

iamnasra said...

its been awhile since I visited you...ou get drifted apart with all what is going on

iamnasra said...

By the way I love the way you have expressed life it brings spring into my heart

Thank you

Jyotsna said...

very well written ram..time does heal and helps us accept..

MotoRama said...

Hey Loveena,
Loved your relationship story even though i got there a bit late.Wrote something along those lines a while back.Nice to meet u!


Thanks Anamika!I think i have your blog address from older comments.I will check it out.

Hey Nasra,
Good to see u here. I am glad you could relate.

Hey Jyo!
It sure does..good to see u here..loved your mumbai blog! The character of a city does gives us strength.

Misreflection said...

Your whole post is beautifully and so wisely captured, I can relate esp when I'm often faced with ET's kinda like playing Russian roulette ;-).For me it boils down to control, acceptance and finding peace of mind... All of which can take a bloody lifetime to achieve..the beauty of it all is that all the power you need lies within you.. don't ask me how to harness it.. I'm still searching.. :)

Anonymous said...

was thinking whether to post a comment or not...

yes true...
one might hit the bottom and think that the only way is UP...

but in a relationship when you lose a person though he/she made you just an option....it's never going to be the same...may be everyone is not like me?:)

well i recently ended a friendship which i thought would last a lifetime...but realized that he didnt see me as a true friend [ the word - option - is not important here though]!!!


cause i Believe ...if it's really there...it will never end...

just rambling...may not make sense
:)

Anonymous said...

cont...from the previous comment :)

personally i just tell myself that " the journey is more imp than the destination and every person/relationship happens to be there for a reason "...and that we are here to learn our lessons and once the lessons are over we go back HOME...

too heavy?/ heady?

Just felt like leaving the comments...not that you need to know what i feel

pSycho-baBbler said...

Wow.

This post is filled with the kind of things I'd like to quote to everyone I know.. to my kids some day...

The kind of words I would've expected to see written in a scholarly book somewhere.

I'm impressed, seriously. It's amazing how sometimes someone can say something that you've always tried to formulate the right words for only in your head, and never succeeded.

Inner-Reflections said...

Yes, Motorama...am doing great:)
Nice to see you blogging again

Thanks for dropping by!
(*_*)

Inner-Reflections said...

Motorama...
Btw...posted the above anon comments,as i was unable to log in!!

(*_*)
Inner-Reflections

iamnasra said...

Its been awhile hope u are okay

iamnasra said...

Its been awhile hope u are okay

MotoRama said...

Hi Misreflection,
yes.It really sucks that this thing takes a loong time..but i guess we have no choice but to learn from the trippings!

Hi Anonymous-Uma,
Sorry for delayed responses. Yes.It is never the same when u end an emotionally satisfying relationship.The point is..at some point you have to decide on who gets to travel with u ..even for that brief period in ur life's train journey bcoz ur heart can only take so much.And it better be someone who wants to travel with u for same reasons atleast until the next stop. Thanks for sharing and dont think twice about scribbling whatever comes to ur mind here.

WoW!Thanks for the generous appreciation Psycho-babbler.

Hey Nasra,
Thanks for checking.Yes.I am fine. Just been busy with a product launch in my firm.Hopefully will be able to post something soon.

iamnasra said...

How was ur launch ...just checking on u

iamnasra said...

Hope all is well

MotoRama said...

Hey Nasra,
Nice of you to keep checking my blog..i am fine..just lazy! Hope all's well at your end!

Rads said...

Nicely put :)