28 August 2006
Window of Offensive Opportunity!
“I have seen it done better!”
A Sly remark. Unjust. Unwarranted. Quick. Sharp. Your nerves boil in an instant. Just when you thought you could stand that person, they had to make you feel unskilled, incapable, unworthy and above all, disrespected. While your mind is blanking out with these thoughts, the offender has moved on to next item on their list. The conversation has moved on. You just lost your “Window” to get back. You lost your “Window” to ask “How can you? “. You lost your “Window” to say “How Dare You?”
Maybe you are not accustomed to being rude to someone. Perhaps you have the tenacity to stay above the fray. Maybe it's your inability to come back quickly with a witty comment or equally offending statement. I am sure you even tried using that “window” of opportunity once but it back-fired big time since you had only one repartee in your bag. And the verbal attacker made sure the rest of the argument is about your response than the original insult.
More often than not, these verbal attacks come from family and friends. Peers and superiors have a different way of bullying but it is the close ones that hurt the most. When you let a verbal abuse slide with reasoning like love, age, respect, it wrecks your peace of mind, self esteem and self respect. You are squirming all day inside replaying those dialogues. And worse, you say YES to all those things that you wanted to say NO with them. The pile of frustrations and disappointments mount and one day, you burst out “F*** OFF!”, when all they said was “I thought you didn’t like coffee!”
Instead, if you get back within that window of few seconds, quickly and immediately, protecting your self respect with verbal self defense, then you take control of your life. You don’t pile the shit. You clean the mess, then and there! Standard responses like “Is that So? “, “Really?”,”And you know me so well to judge me, is it?” always helps, especially if you can’t think on your feet.
The next time your Mom tells you, you are no good; tell her, she needs to watch her mouth! The next time your brother says you are no good, tell him to mind his own business! The next time your hubby says lose twenty pounds, ask him to take a look in the mirror! Life is not worth living, putting up with verbal attackers. Use your window of offensive opportunity to DEFEND your own SELF!