28 August 2006

Window of Offensive Opportunity!

“I have seen it done better!”

A Sly remark. Unjust. Unwarranted. Quick. Sharp. Your nerves boil in an instant. Just when you thought you could stand that person, they had to make you feel unskilled, incapable, unworthy and above all, disrespected. While your mind is blanking out with these thoughts, the offender has moved on to next item on their list. The conversation has moved on. You just lost your “Window” to get back. You lost your “Window” to ask “How can you? “. You lost your “Window” to say “How Dare You?”

Maybe you are not accustomed to being rude to someone. Perhaps you have the tenacity to stay above the fray. Maybe it's your inability to come back quickly with a witty comment or equally offending statement. I am sure you even tried using that “window” of opportunity once but it back-fired big time since you had only one repartee in your bag. And the verbal attacker made sure the rest of the argument is about your response than the original insult.

More often than not, these verbal attacks come from family and friends. Peers and superiors have a different way of bullying but it is the close ones that hurt the most. When you let a verbal abuse slide with reasoning like love, age, respect, it wrecks your peace of mind, self esteem and self respect. You are squirming all day inside replaying those dialogues. And worse, you say YES to all those things that you wanted to say NO with them. The pile of frustrations and disappointments mount and one day, you burst out “F*** OFF!”, when all they said was “I thought you didn’t like coffee!”

Instead, if you get back within that window of few seconds, quickly and immediately, protecting your self respect with verbal self defense, then you take control of your life. You don’t pile the shit. You clean the mess, then and there! Standard responses like “Is that So? “, “Really?”,”And you know me so well to judge me, is it?” always helps, especially if you can’t think on your feet.

The next time your Mom tells you, you are no good; tell her, she needs to watch her mouth! The next time your brother says you are no good, tell him to mind his own business! The next time your hubby says lose twenty pounds, ask him to take a look in the mirror! Life is not worth living, putting up with verbal attackers. Use your window of offensive opportunity to DEFEND your own SELF!


bilbo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
bilbo said...

now, what brought that one on.
I am glad though, that I use my windows, and they are french ones at that :P

And, If I am not saying anything, it only means they are not worth the agro

Misreflection said...

The coolest retort I think is the one where you show no emotion yet convey exactly that which you intend with precise timing.
Hey I'm nowhere close to that as my mouth hardly ever listens to my brain and my emotions tend to rule me more that I care to admit... but I'm learning. :)

Maltova said...

"Life is not worth living, putting up with verbal attackers"

Why would you take such a stance, rama? Life is everybit worth living inspite of potty mouthed people around. I mean C'mon, if you're really frustrated you'd buy them a years supply of Harpic to drive home a subtle message. But in anycase retorts are necesary. Being quiet and smiling is one way... Getting all livid and showing fists, abusing back will just make it even bad.

My gran told me a story once...

In a village once lived a rude zamindar boy who used to go to school with his brahmin friend. One day the Z boy calls this other kid "Thikatum theeni thikatum theeni" (literally meaning 'shit eater'). The boy smiles and replies "Papadum theeni, papadum theeni". (Pappad eater)
Amused, the Zboy asks the B boy why he called out a "papadum theeni".

The brahmin boy replies "Well, that's what my father is..."

Atrakasya said...

There is a phrase in the strange angrezi language, called "staircase wit".
Apparently, it refers to the things you can think of (that you should have said), while on your way out, via the staircase.

MotoRama said...

Hey Bilbo,
Was reading an article about Verbal Self defense being taught to indian school girls and made me wonder how many women put up with that kinda shit bcoz of their "Be nice", "Be courteous to everyone" upbringing!

You should teach me those French ones..;)

Hey Misreflection,
That sounds like a perfect retort..with the raising of middle finger added to it ;)

As far as MM-co-ordination (Mind-Mouth)..i am also learning! Thanks for your 2cents.

Hey Maltova,
That line is meant for people to fight back instead of putting up with it! Dude..didn't get the story..maybe i will re-read it!Thanks for the anecdote though..my thick skull shud absorb it in 3 readings..

MotoRama said...

Atrakasya (WHOA)!
That's an awesome name..i doubt whether 'staircase wit' would apply to people who don't have stairs..(he he he..i love PJ's)!Thanks for dropping by!

Misreflection said...

Tks for your words of encourgement have not stopped altogether just on a different war-path :) catch me there when you have a mo. http://eclipseoftwominds.blogspot.com/

Parvati said...

The satisfaction that is there in giving back a welltimed, well-worded retort, reply to unwarranted rudeness is unparallelled. Revenge is sweet, but sweeter still is selfpreservation in whatever form - be it through words or actions. We SHOULD NEVER ever take shit from anyone on earth - parents, spouses, not to mention our sweet selfcentred children...

Delaleuverses said...

Wow, I can definitely relate to this post, thanks for sharing

Ph said...

You go tell 'em off. (All well?)

anumita said...

When you can't take it, you give it. Simple.

MotoRama said...

Happy to know u could relate ,delaleuverses!

Hey PH!(i can hear the clouds rumbling)

I sure will :)Everything is great here!How u been ?

I think the simplest things are the most difficult to do.Stange as it may seem. Just like finding common sense is very uncommon.

Thanks for dropping by!

Priyamvada_K said...

I think we've all been stung by callous verbal attackers sometime or the other, and wished we'd had the right things to say to them.

Wrote about this a while back:

Nice that they're teaching girls how to verbally defend themselves. Where did you read this?


MotoRama said...

Hey Priya,
Loved your blog..on same topic..have commented there!

Couldn't find the article though!It was during one of my browsing sessions and i browse a lot ;)