03 January 2006

"Shower"ing Thoughts!

Are you the kind of person who counts backwards from 60 in the shower because you had just applied your shampoo? Well if you are, then you must go through what I do everyday (with a huge presumption that you do take bath everyday).How do people come up with that one minute prescribed exact time for shampoo? And what happens if you leave it longer than a minute? Does your hair turn grey? Has anyone tested these kinds of things? Do they assume people know how to count or a clock is required when you are in the shower? But then, it is also recommended that you should close your eyes while applying shampoo, which means even if a clock is available, you can’t open your eyes to see it. That definitely leaves us with only the option of counting. And it is in this awkward, naked, shampoo dripping, counting backward, silent moment that you hear hissing sounds. Maybe a snake has escaped through the attic and is trying to find a spot in the corner of your bathroom or is it just your nephew who is flushing his toilet in second floor? Now in the time I was thinking about this, did I miss a few seconds? And to add to this state, you are not supposed to apply water in your head and you have obediently turned your warm shower off. When the time is up, do you know the exact position of the knob which you had set before entering the shower after rigorous three minute testing on your toes, knees and hands for perfect warmness that your epidermis can absorb? I know I have already lost more seconds between 17 and 12 or did I count forward from 33 in that frenzy of snake crawling up my legs? And why do people have to give you instructions when you are in the shower? All you can catch in that shivering still frenzy from your wife is “Don’t forget to do it atleast today”. What today? Shouldn’t there be a line before that sentence? Or did she say it already? Do I dare to ask her again or did I miss my count again? No…I was at 11.Or 9? Maybe I don’t have to worry about my missed seconds since the forward and backward counting might have cancelled each other and I might actually be on time…3,2,1……turning the shower back on…Jai Shree Ram!…Halleluah!…Allah hu Akbar!…offering prayers to all Gods so my skin is not scorched from over-heat or the other extreme where I jump with a huge cold stiff shoulder shattering the tempered glass bathroom!


SeaSwallowMe said...

you sure have an interesting shower-ritual, buddy. shall we say, dRama-tic ? :-P

avani said...

i would've never imagined there was so much stress involved in taking a shower....

camera shy said...

well, im not a mintue counter. in fact, im just the opposite in the shower. i get lost in thought and loose track of time entirely. my showers seem like 5 seconds but when i walk out i find i just lost myself to thought, deep introspective thought, for over 15 minutes. this is routine for me. counting, such an arbitrary action, would be counter to everything i am at that moment. so next time count to 120. (not to mention, my head is shaved anyway . . . maybe that has something to do with it)

Shubhodeep said...

whoa, nice blog you have here! interesting posts!

thanx for visiting my blog. do visit again.

El enigma said...

lol.....totally hilarious, rama :)


Jyotsna said...

ha ha :) :) i know what you mean..when i started coloring my hair (as in fashion color),i was told the conditioner needs to be applied for 3-4 minutes...andi still have a tough time counting those minutes that suddenly seems so endless...it happens,it happens and to hell with the time..
thanks for dropping by

MotoRama said...

Hey SSM,
If it is not dRama-tic then we will make sure it is buddy!

That also depends on the size of bathroom Avani(an intersting fact i missed out).Hope you are doing well ;)

LOL@Blog-this!I am also like that Ralph,except when i apply my shampoo!Thanks for dropping by!

Welcome Aboard Shubhodeep!

Thanks El!Looks like you have been busy.Didn't see any new posts!

Hey Jo!,
I know what u mean my endless hours in those few minutes.Hope Ananya is doing great!

Pincushion said...

Gosh! I never bothered with the mins..lol..I think I'm with 'blog this' in this! I am always lost in thoughts and most of the time am in there for hours(for others)..which seem like minutes to me!Talk about Relativity here!
Am sure Einstein would love this take on Time!

d.K.m said...

The innane can be such a complex matter and likewise the complex can become innane.. its all in how one looks at it..

Its been many years since I read an instruction on the back of a shampoo pack.. I totally forgot that they exisit..

Lovely post :)

Sriharsh Mallela said...

Ooh this gives me an idea.. why not have a shower with an inbuilt shampoo use timer button .. so once you apply the shampoo you simply push this button and the shower comes on in exactly 60 seconds... or if you more time .. you can preset your timing before your bath.. all your probs solved then.. aah if i develop this .. i might win an Ig Nobel prize :)))

shubha said...

ha ha...read such an enjoyable blog after a long long time :)

Misreflection said...

Count your blessings you're not a woman with longish hair.. and you don't have a conditioner rountine which involves towel drying your hair.. just enough mind you to apply the stuff to sit for another minute.. then to be washed out. Its a bugger stepping out of the shower only to go back in after.I find singing helps with keeping time.. sing something that takes two minutes normally and bob's your aunty .. no clock reqd.. Funny post. made me smile.. tks

MotoRama said...

Relativity and showers!That's an interesting thought Cushion!

Wow!Like that perspective..abt inane and complex..i think..it just depends on the person and more importantly the mood of that person!Thanks for dropping by Kishore!

You NAILED it Sriharsh!But i take 20% agency commission for concept inspiration.

LOL!I am sooo glad i am not a woman misreflection..not just for the shower routine..but for other peeling routines that some women seem to indulge.Now does the song timing include the interlude string music also or without the music ;)

MotoRama said...

I am glad u enjoyed it Shubha!Thanks for dropping by!

mermaid said...

You are hilarious. So many blogs I read are serious, that I need some comedy to lighten the load. Maybe this was supposed to be serious, but I find it amusing. I used to read the backs of shampoo/conditioner bottles, and see if I left it on my hair for the time required. It's probably all hype. I say the hair changes color, falls, looks better or worse, regardless of timing.

MotoRama said...

" Maybe this was supposed to be serious, but I find it amusing."--Absolutely not Mermaid!My last post was a heavy one...so i had to move my ass and write this to make an ass out of myself!

Thanks for dropping by for the first time!

small squirrel said...

this cracked my ass up
I normally read those labels and mostly am obsessed with correcting the crappy directions, writing, etc.

or trying to test my comprehension of the foreign language instructions. hahahhaha

smriti said...

interesting...but never happened to me. am just too lazy to read teh back of shampoo bottles and too fidgety to wait out the one min prescription even if i had.
i would suggest everyone sing in the shower...cheesy as it sounds in our deromanticized era, singing and showering work well.
...munich. will watch it. got my finals from tomorrow (SIGH!!!!)but will catch up after then.

MotoRama said...

Jess:Foreign language compreheansion, that i can believe :)
Glad you enjoyed it.

Smriti:Singing in the rain..well..atleast the shower.All the Best for your finals!

Nessa said...

Hiya, thanks for stopping by my blog... This post is quite hilarious :-) I don't have problems keeping time shampooing my hair tho', 'coz I do the song routine... It's cold these days, so it takes me an iron will to shower at least once a day (which I do religiously, btw!!)... but once I'm in, it's difficult to get me back out.. 'coz then the bathroom's warmer... hehe..

TwistedNoggin said...

I don't count off my shampoo, but I count while drinking water (a habit left over from childhood - all through gradeschool we could only drink from the fountain for 10 seconds per turn)

susubala said...

Oh...you enjoy your daily shower thinking of many things... especially about the shampooing. So much thing is involved, I do realise it now !

MotoRama said...

I TOTALLY believe when you say "which i do religiously" :) jk!
Thanks for dropping by!

Love the poems in ur blog.Counting while drinking water ? wonder why!I am afraid i might choke if i do it.Thanks for dropping by.

Sometimes you have to fill that empty mind with something.Thanks for dropping by!